It’s been a while since I have written an article about anything crazy personal. I’m really sorry for that. My brain is more along the lines of a shotgun blast than a sniper rifle, and from being an addictive creative, my outlets wander from writing, to styling, to speaking, directing, producing, building, designing, etc - then all over again. I wish I was the kind of person that just had one craft I was in love with, but that’s juts not how I work.
The past few months and honestly the entire year of 2013 has already been a flash in the pan. I’m actually currently at the Kahala Resort in Waikiki, Hawaii, writing this article, and I don’t know – maybe it’s the beauty of this place that has driven me to put some words on paper for you guys. I want to open up a little bit about something that has been eating me up more and more and more the longer I have owned RUCKUS. I am constantly struggling with the thought of not being good enough.
I wouldn’t say I struggled with this because of some scar from the past or underlying daddy issue or anything like that. I believe I struggle with this thought because of my somewhat unhealthy addiction to progression, and because frankly - I don’t want to be just Good… I want to be Great. (shout out to James Franco and the new Wizard of OZ movie for borderline ruining that quote for me.)
I find myself getting worried over the littlest detail, and I am so concerned with the final product of my creations and how other people will judge them it drives me borderline insane. This happens when I write especially. Deep down I love to write and want to continue writing but I sometimes I can't. I can’t tap into that freedom and I used to feel. You have to remember that Im not very good at this – I failed creative writing in college - Twice, and on top of that, "feelings" have never really been my thing. But in Gods own timing, sitting watching the sunrise from the patio of the Kahala, as if He needed me to be surrounded by one of the most beautiful places ever, it just hit me.
I’m being too careful.
All the criticism and praise and attention that I have gotten over the past year since I went full time with RUCKUS, had begun to soak into my brain, and I started creating to stay alive… to stay relevant… not to truly express what I felt and believed.
With marketing, photoshoots, blog posts, the people we sponsor, all of it has started to funnel into a formula. And that formula was one that Im now realizing is completely too safe… completely too careful.
When RUCKUS began to pick up steam, its like I suddenly had something to lose and when you have something to lose, you naturally start being careful. The words I use on Twitter change, the methods we use for marketing got a little more PC, the articles I write began to be based on what people perhaps wanted to hear instead of what they maybe needed to hear. Even in my relationships, there is this horrible stronghold that the enemy puts in our hearts that tells us “if they really knew you, they wouldn’t like you.” So I began being careful, I began to stay inside the box. But straight up - when we start being "careful", it is really just a fancy word for coward.
But nobody respects a coward. People love writers, speakers, directors, producers, designers, leaders who give us permission and inspire us to be ourselves, and to express our true feelings, passions, and motives. Sure, they may fail every once in awhile, but we admire their freedom all the same.
Ask yourself - how are you being too careful? Ive already put my neck out and admitted I’m just as guilty as the next guy – but really ask yourself - Are you too careful in your classrom, your writing, your lectures? Do you let societies standards influence your decisions and keep you from expressing your true passions? Are you too careful in your music? Are you too careful in your pursuit of a girl? Maybe she is the one waiting for you to take a risk. Are you afraid to be called a fool, an outcast, a rebel? Quit thinking about that and just take the chance....
The world needs us to be a little reckless, im begging you to join me.
Nobody gets remembered for being Comfortable.